wrigley field is MILF paradise
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
