You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
