I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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