BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
