Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize