I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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