who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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