I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
