i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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