I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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