i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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