why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
