Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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