i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
