so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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