this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
