called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
