i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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