So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
