We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
