how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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