I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize