well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize