Banned from zoo.
Again?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
