Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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