i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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