i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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