Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
