I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
