I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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