He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
