I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize