Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
