Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
