he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
