not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
