Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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