I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
