you have to choose: penises or morals?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
