There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
