why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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