Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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