i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
