I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the condom got lost in my hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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