a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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