what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
