I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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