Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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