I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
