i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
