Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
