think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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