I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
