Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
