The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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