um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
How's work?
Spinning.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
