Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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