Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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