You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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