omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize