K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have aggressive nipples.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
