He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
