Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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