i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
