The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
