Sponge bath it is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize