please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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