And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
