I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
bring money and cleavage
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
