I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
