I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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