Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
