Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
