He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I party with great urgency now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
